Let's make some t-shirts

I should start a t-shirt business on the side. Here are some ideas I've had for t-shirts that I think would sell well to (some kinds of) Mormon customers, but would probably not sell at Deseret Book or the BYU Bookstore. I've grouped them into five different groups: (1) Old General Authority Quotes, (2) J. Golden Kimball Quotes, (3) Mormon Humor, (4) Support Dress and Grooming Standards (at BYU) and (5) Wasatch Liberation Front

Remember, you saw them here first. Which ones would you buy?

(1) Old General Aythority Quotes:

GO TO PROVO
or
GO TO HELL!
Brigham Young, ca. 1868

Work less, wear less, eat less,
and we shall be a great deal
wiser, healthier, and wealthier
people than by taking
the course we do now.
Brigham Young, JD 12:122

There is too much of a
SAMENESS
in this community.
Brigham Young, JD 13:153

I am NOT
a stereotyped
Latter-day Saint!
Brigham Young, JD 8:185

AWAY WITH
STEREOTYPED
“MORMONS”!
Brigham Young, JD 8:185

DAMN
THE
WORLD!
Heber C. Kimball, JD 5:181

WE MUST
GROW HEMP
or
WE MUST
GO NAKED
Gearge A. Smith, JD 10:122

“DAMN”
is not swearing…
it is only emphasis
Heber J. Grant, General Conference, 10/6/1922

(2) J. Golden Kimball Quotes

Cut me off from the church?
They can't do that!
I repent too damn fast.
J. Golden Kimball

I may not walk
the straight and the narrow,
but I sure in hell try
to cross it as often as I can!
J. Golden Kimball

There are not enough
general authorities
to do all the thinking
for the membership of the church.
J. Golden Kimball

I love all of the brethren,
but I love some
a hell of a lot more
than I do others.
J. Golden Kimball

If I had a house in St. George
and a house in Hell,
I'd rent out the one in St. George
and move straight to Hell.
J. Golden Kimball

I understand you brethren
can't go on missions
because you swear too much.
You can overcome it.
Hell, I did.
J. Golden Kimball

(3) Mormon Humor
[Note: I didn't come up with any of these.]

Front of Shirt: What do you get when you cross Spencer W. Kimball with J. Golden Kimball?
Back of Shirt: Do it, damn it.

Front of Shirt: Why do Mormon women stop having children at thirty-five?
Back of Shirt: Because thirty-six is just too damn many.

Front of Shirt: What do you get when you cross a Mormon and a Kleptomaniac?
Back of Shirt: A basement full of stolen food.

(4) Support Dress and Grooming Standards (at BYU)

Support Dress and Grooming Standards!
Because it’s what’s on the OUTSIDE that counts
1 Samuel 16:7

Support Dress and Grooming Standards!
As long as I LOOK the part…
Matthew 23:27

Support Dress and Grooming Standards!
The Honor Code – isn’t it about…Appearance?
2 Corinthians 10:7

(5) Wasatch Liberation Front
[Note: I got the ideas for the Wasatch Liberation Front shirts after reading a Pat Bagely comic. Further note: all of these shirts will have this design on their backs - a beehive with a clenched fist over it and the logo "Join the Wasatch Liberation Front!" The following are different options for the front of the shirt.]

Ice Cream is the Opiate of the Masses

Scrap-booking is the Opiate of the Masses

Scrap-booking is a Bourgeois Conspiracy

Abolition of Knee-Shorts!

Multi-Level Marketing is a Bourgeois Conspiracy

Relief Society Sisters, Arise! You have nothing to lose but your pedestals!

A specter is haunting Utah…

Multiply and Replenish ≠ Procreate with Reckless Abandon

From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.

The production of too many useful programs results in too many useless people.